Looking for Leaders
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[Part 4] |
A couple of days ago we discussed the makeup of a quality youth staff leader. But even though you understand that, you might be asking yourself, “Where Do I Find Them?” Here’s a couple hints toward places you may not have thought of. They all have pros and cons though, so choose wisely.
College Students
PROS: They’re usually young, full of energy, easy to excite, connect well with students, and usually have a schedule flexible enough to be a huge help in your ministry.
CONS: Many college students are barely older than the students in your ministry. For this reason, many students will not respect them as leaders and will treat them more as peers. You might try and put them with younger students. Also, college students may be a bit shaky still on their leadership skills, their discipline and even what they believe. You will have to put more energy and time into college students, but it may be well worth it.
Parents
PROS: They understand where the students are because they live with them 24/7. Sometimes they don’t think they know much about students but it’s one of those areas where the more you know, the less you feel like you know. Even they may not understand what a huge contribution they can make to your youth ministry by providing a window into the inner lives of the students. Their schedules are already built around the students and they can provide you great feedback on how your ministry is affecting parents.
CONS: A lot of students will clam up if too many parents are around. The parents may not even realize the affect they are having with the students. For this reason, it’s almost never a good idea to pair parents up with their own kids in small groups.
Retired People
PROS: Retired folks can be a GOLD MINE. Some think older people won’t connect with students but I have seen just the opposite. Many times older men and women have the time and the money to treat students extra special (going out for coffee, going to ball games, etc.). Also, their experience in life and the example they have lived can have a great impact on your students.
CONS: Some older leaders can easily get stuck in a routine or sometimes get focused on the past and not the future. You just have to help them with that. Make time to often ask their opinion and take the time to communicate clearly your vision when you disagree with them. You’re the leader and you have to lead the older folks too. Don’t shy away from that. Just be confident, kind and communicate well and all will be good.
The bottom line here is that there are often great leaders hidden within our congregations. We just have to go find them. The key is balance. Don’t get all your leaders from one area. Try to spread it out and you’ll make a great team.
For sure I agree that the primary responsibility for a child's spiritual growth and development sits on the parents' shoulders. It is the church's responsibility to act as a supplement to what the parents are already doing. But the very idea of a supplement is something additional or extra. If parents of kids are also the kids' leaders, there's nothing extra being added. It's just the same at youth group as it is at home.
Just two days ago, I sat in on a meeting with some parents present in the group who said, “Though I am a leader and I am around when my kids are in youth group, I do not want to be their actual small group leader because I want someone else saying the same thing as me to my kids.” I think that catches the heart of what I’m trying to communicate.
As far as being Biblical, I guess I first need some clarification. Are you asking should a parent ever be separated from their child? Are you suggesting that the parent be the parent, the school teacher, the soccer coach, the employer, the pastor, the youth pastor, and any other role that might be present in the life of a student? I’m not sure that’s even practical. I would think most people would completely dismiss the idea of the parents being absolutely every input in the life of the child.
Though I know of nowhere in the Bible where parents are commanded to allow other input in the life of their child, there are lots of Biblical examples of children who are separated from their parents for one reason or another. It’s almost as if it’s understood. I’m thinking of Samuel left at the temple by his mother, of David sent to the war front by his Father, and Jesus being allowed to spend time at the temple.
Finally, one Biblical Principle I do know of that is stated fairly explicitly is found in Prov. 11:14, Prov. 15:22, and Prov. 24:6. The idea is that “in a multitude of counselors there is safety.” So yes, I do think that it is Biblical to have additional counselors in the lives of students (this particular example is that the small group leader would be someone other than the parent). I am not advocating usurping the parents’ authority, or as you say “separating” children from parents. However, I am advocating that during your small group time each week, someone else from your church (which precludes they agree with you theologically) have input in the life of your student.